Sitting awake at 12 o clock at night is not
ideal. I’ve been so busy and sleep deprived I found myself waking up on the
cold hard floor of our TV room in a very unappealing and awkward position.
Varsity is just so much. I’ve never had to handle excessive such workloads,
sitting in such a big classroom or feeling so small, unintelligent and in the
bigger scheme of things minute. Right now I feel like I’m just part of
statistics and it’s up to me to decide whether I’m going to belong to the group
that makes it or the group that doesn’t.
So instead of just lying in bed and waiting
for sleep to catch up on me I decided to wake up, get inspired and start
studying which is something I’ve really been struggling with lately. I’m a last
minute kind of girl. The one who has to feel the pressure before she starts working
and in my uncles words to me “It’s human nature to be like that” but now it’s
time for me to fight my own limitations.
I hated chemistry at school to say the
least and it reflected in my poor marks. I can’t even say I liked the subject
but just couldn’t cope under exam or test conditions which I often tried to
convince myself. And just my luck I find it to be one of my main subjects this
year. I find myself sitting in class having absolutely no idea what’s going on
and being too scared to put up my hand and ask questions and just not motivated
enough to look for the answers. Instead I find myself continuously checking
facebook, twitter or just simply doing other work provided I’m not just closing
my eyes for a few moments hoping it would wake me up.
So what motivated me at 12 o clock to start
working? My New Year’s resolution. I know its March and to be completely honest
most of us have given up. I saw the statuses in January already “who still does
New Year’s Resolutions – it never lasts” or “New Years’ resolutions are just a
waste of time.” .I get it, we tend to
give up so easily when things become tough but think about it: what are our new
years’ resolutions? In my opinion they are positive changes we make hoping to
benefit ourselves and others. I promised myself that I would work hard this
year and if I can’t even do it for myself who can I do it for?
Yes I know those healthy eating ideas have
disappeared and replaced by fast food and those gym memberships you took out
are now simply a transaction that happens once a month or basically a waste of
your money. I want to encourage you to not give up. Start fulfilling your
resolutions today and if you fail tomorrow is another day where you can wake up
and try again. That’s the beauty of life, everyday is a new opportunity to grow
and be or do something amazing it’s simply up to you. You will never regret
having that one healthy meal or going to the gym and pushing yourself, these
small things may be forgotten but they will benefit you anyway.
I can’t say I’m not going to study for my
chemistry test (next week Wednesday) because I don’t like it. If I fail I’m
simply going to be one less in a class of 400. I need to do this for myself
because the good things are tough but that makes it worthwhile doesn’t it? When
you work hard and achieve what you want so badly that you gave it your
everything. That sense of accomplishment flourishes throughout your body and
over whelms your soul with this indescribable happiness and knowing you did it
for yourself makes it that much better.
So let’s make a toast to our New Years’
resolutions. The ones that we’ve given up on but we going to start again or the
ones we’ve been working hard on maintaining. Let’s do it for the simple reason
that we deserve it.
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